Jon and Kate plus 8

My ex-wife and I followed this show from it’s beginning about 3 years ago.  Up until the point when we separated, we had seen every episode.  There were so many things about Jon that I related with, and things about Kate that my wife could relate to.  They had 2 pregnancies, and ended up with 8 children.  TLC found their story fascinating, and did a 1 hour special on them as the sextuplets turned one.  They did a follow up episode as the kids turned two.  The response was so great, that TLC suggested a regular series.  Because they had so little time to create home movies with all of the diapers, clothes, food, and life going on around them, Jon and Kate agreed to invite the cameras into their lives, and document what it is like to raise twins and sextuplets.

Last night, on the premier of the new season, Jon and Kate publicly acknowledged that their relationship is mostly over, and that divorce seems to be inevitable.  This clip illustrates so clearly how far the two parents have grown apart and how much they are both hurting.  The scene from 3:30 to 4:28 especially broke my heart.

Jon probably cheated on his wife.  You can see it on his face and on hers.  It is a painful situation that I know only too well.  The exact details of his affair aren’t as important as the fact that is marriage is seriously unhealthy.  Message boards have filled up with people taking sides and talking about how Kate should drop him and move on, or how Jon was acting out in response to Kate’s controlling personality.  We can’t know.  It’s so complicated, they may not even really know why they do what they do.  I’m still baffled almost daily at my own behaviors based on what I say I believe in and who I want to be.

One of the main reasons that the show was so popular, was the near constant tension between Jon and Kate.  How they would fight and argue, only to come back together at the end of each episode with his arm around her on the couch, recapping everything and making up.  I can vividly remember an episode where they go on a ski trip in Utah, and Jon is absolutely thrilled with the freedom to ski by himself.  Away from the family, away from the kids… just himself and the slopes.  His life was not balanced.  He saw his opportunity for freedom, and he took it.  I fear that his life away from Kate won’t give him the balance he seeks either.

This clip from the show has old home movies of their engagement and better times.  It’s sweet to see them with such love and positive sentiment override for each other.

I have hope that they can find peace and happiness again, and that their children will share it with them.

For me, I am seeking to be the man that my wife once saw in me.  Not for her, but because it really is who I can be.  Who wants you to succeed more than your spouse?  She was right to have high hopes for me.  I will never be perfect, but with practice, I will become more Godly.  I think that everyone would be on board for that.