It’s been a kind of slow news week, and I didn’t really see anything jumping out at me from the headlines over the last few days. So, I hopped over to www.time.com, and immediately found something that DID grab my attention. It was an article titled “Monkey See, Monkey Do: Why We Flatter Via Imitation”. Since the rest of my article will discuss this article, I will keep my thoughts brief, so that you won’t be spending a ridiculous amount of time on monkeys today. Unless of course you work here, in which case, I cannot help you.
In wondering what it means to be human, I practically dismissed the notion of learning anything from studying animals behaviors. But since this is a social phenomenon, it seems to transcend our differences from simians. The phrase: “Imitation is the highest form of flattery” is usually used to appease someone who has just had their image or actions stolen or copied by someone else, and he or she is not happy about it. I’m not sure how much time I have spent thinking about how deep this idea goes, but I am thinking hard about it now.
I wonder where the line could be drawn for where our connectedness with others relates to our mimicry of each other. My friend Ben is a skilled soccer player. When he takes the field, he is focused and determined. Almost without fail, when he is involved in a play, his teammates (myself included) raise their game. We see Ben hustle, and we instinctively hustle in response. He doesn’t need to ask us to follow him, we just mimic him and do it.
But when Ben saw an opportunity to challenge an opposing player who was about to head the ball, he charged, leaped, and threw himself at the ball with his own head. When the dust had settled and Ben had an inch long gash under his eye that would require several stitches and sully his good looks for a time, I realized that I had drawn a line in my mind as to where I would stop mimicking Ben, so that I could avoid that outcome.
Whether I am too soft of a player or not (which I certainly am), is not what is most interesting to me. It’s the fact that what I admired and mimicked about Ben had reached a breaking point. Now, I would love to blow kisses to Kim during my soccer games, but if Ben began to mimic that, I would have to challenge him to a game of “wanker” (A childhood game of ours that involved at least 2 teenage boys, a swimming pool love seat, and not a bit of the homoerotic sensuality that the name might imply. You may know it as “king of the mountain”, and the pool allowed us to experiment with all types of suplexes and wrestling moves. For whatever reason, we called it “wanker”, and I was often crowned king.). There was obviously also a limit in my mind of what Ben could do to mimic me, and still be appropriate.
What is this dividing line that we must be mindful of in terms of our social activity? ”Mob mentality” has been researched and documented vigorously, and it has been shown that an individual will behave quite differently in a mob of people than he or she would in the same situation, by himself or herself. Just because a behavior “seems” right at the time because of the actions of those around us, does not mean that it aligns to with principles that we hold ourselves to personally. It a type of social intoxication, that many people try to avoid by becoming monks and hermits. These actions seem too one-sided to me. I would rather look for the line than retreat to one side and avoid contracting social diseases altogether.
Any thoughts on “the line”? Is there a line? Anybody feel more comfortable going the holy (meaning “separate”) route?
