I felt a number of different emotions when I first saw the video of Elizabeth Lambert from the University of New Mexico soccer match vs. BYU on November 5, 2009. If you have not seen it yet and you want to dial up your own emotional response to it, here you go:
I had a few people tease me in high school for playing “girls” sports like soccer and volleyball. While I haven’t seen a volleyball video quite like this before, perhaps the idea of soccer being a “soft” game, even for girls, may be closer to being exposed as quite false. While mostly tongue in cheek, it is a startlingly violent video.
Like many people, I was shocked and disgusted by how intentional Lambert’s actions were. Even though the video just shows highlights (lowlights?) from the match, and the tension of the game cannot be discerned from snippets of film out of context, it’s impossible to justify what she did as an acceptable part of the game. She has been suspended indefinitely, and many believe that she will not be considered for reinstatement to the team until she undergoes serious psychiatric analysis and treatment. In addition to her reputation as a soccer player, he may also lose her scholarship, and any hopes she had of playing professionally at another level.
Many people can relate to losing their cool and doing something regrettable in the heat of the moment. Unfortunately, many of us forget what we ourselves are capable of when we see such egregious acts of violence while personally being in a calm state of mind. Some people have called for Lambert to be expelled from school. Even others have wanted the police to investigate the hair pulling incident as an assault. She has even received an alarming number of date proposals from men who would like her to treat them as rough as she does her opponents on the pitch.
After two weeks of dealing with a cacophony of media pundits and Youtube commenters, Elizabeth finally granted an interview to the New York times today. Her tone varies from one of genuine remorse to explanatory pleading.
The accompanying picture doesn’t exactly fit the thuggish girl from the video above. Although her video seems to show a pattern of dirty play, she has only received 2 yellow cards in her career at New Mexico, which has spanned over 2,500 minutes on the field. Maybe she did just have a bit of temporary insanity. Perhaps she should be given more benefit of the doubt.
In fact, the two weeks of time that have passed since this episode and today’s interview have given me a lot of time to think about my own screw ups and shortcomings. If I were defined by my weakest moments or known around the world by my greatest failures, I’m not sure if I would still be allowed my own web domain www.zacparsons.com. As it is, people know me by some mix of what I have shared with them, or what they have heard or seen themselves or second hand from others. Although I make sincere attempts to be transparent, I’m sure that many of my behavioral warts would lose me some friends and comrades if every detail of my life was known.
If what we know about someone is bad, is it fair to label him/her as a bad person? Do stories of shocking behavior expose someone’s true nature, or is it just a moment of weakness that happened to catch our attention? Do we poo-poo away our own moral failures as circumstantial, heat of the moment, “you would understand if you were in my shoes” types of events? Or even if we take responsibility for our actions, do we feel that we need to saddle ourselves with that burden on a daily or hourly basis to remind ourselves of how evil we really are?
Maybe the question I’m asking is: are we all really bad people who happen to do good things from time to time? Or are we all good people, who happen to do bad things from time to time? Or are some of us more inclined to be good and others of us to be bad? I believe that your answer to those questions has a lot do to with how you deal with others on a daily basis.
If you know that you need slack cut to you in order to enjoy life and the relationships around you, take a good look at how much slack you are cutting for others. Since our country doesn’t even trust Elizabeth Lambert to make the decision to imbibe alcohol (she’s only 20), maybe we should all help her to learn from this and work towards changing her nickname to something more fitting of a human being.







