Gaps. I’ve learned to treasure them.
We all know that gaps are out there.. We’ve all read, seen, heard, and told stories with gaps-a-plenty.
It’s kind of like Indiana Jones spelling the name of God with his feet, in an effort to save his father. It’s sort of like Alice hopping from mushroom to mushroom, seeking out the wisdom of the caterpillar. It’s almost like a couple of 12 year old boys capering up a stream, hoping to eventually reach the source. All of these examples depict a character who is aiming for surety of step, mindful not to fall into the abyss, grass, or water, respectively.
The places where we aim our feet are absolute. They don’t shift or wobble as we put out weight on them. When we finish our night of sleep, we can lift our eyes with confidence that our pillars of truth will remain… and remain steadfast.
These islands between the gaps seem to make up our conscious beliefs. These are the truths, and while we may not hold them to be self evident, they are evidentially true for us. We order our steps and our entire lives in concert with these pillars.
But what about those gaps?
While the absolute journey of life and is sovereign in a way, each gap between those sure steps holds its own excitement (and treachery).
There seems to be something in our human nature that compels us to map out the world we find ourselves in. Maybe I’m using the journey metaphor too liberally here. Maybe it’s more like there is a need to develop an instruction manual for as many of the situations of life that get thrown at us. After all, if we have a comprehensive system for dealing with anything, then nothing can surprise us (or hurt us). Right?
But how much fun is it to live in the gaps for a while?
The older I get, the more I learn about my previously unmalleable, unchangeable, and immovable truths. It turns out that they weren’t as steadfast and inalterable as I had believed and hoped. All the counsel I received rang the tone of “If you don’t stand for something, then you will fall for anything.” Maybe there is some truth to that, but what if I fell for something untrue in the first place?!?!?
Gaps used to terrify me. I had no idea how to deal with the uncertainties that were forced upon me.
Sink or swim.
Fight or flight.
Or… just float.
Floating in this haze actually isn’t that bad! If some of my stepping stones are no longer true, and the truth is indeed out there, then maybe I’m just too blind to see it with the way I currently know how to see. Maybe I’ll bump into it amidst the murky waters abound in these gaps I find myself in.
For now, I’m just tickled to know that leaving the safety of the “truth” hasn’t lead to my death like I had feared. I’m sure I’ll find something new to step on soon enough.
