You know how there are certain songs in your life that, when you hear them, take you right back to that same glorious or soul-killing moment from your past? Whether its the first couple of bars, or a particularly perfect lyric, the right musical cue can transport you back to yester-year and transform you back into yester-you.
I realize that I am in something of a heightened emotional state right now, and my moods have been more dramatic in some usually innocuous situations. Whether I’m driving in my car, in a social setting with music pumping in, or working with a little Spotify in the background, a soundtrack has been developing in my heart and mind over the past month or so. I’m confident that these songs will become a part of my personal history, working in the future to hearken me back to right now.
Without further ado, I’d like to give you a peek into my soul, and share with you my music of this moment:
One of my top bands, Foxy Shazam, offered a recommendation for a zombie-filled music video on Halloween (Disclaimer- the video is a strong PG-13). As far as I can tell, Our Vinyl Vows is a California band that no one (other than Foxy) has never heard of before. They seem to be a typical post-punk, guitar-driven, three-chord band, bitching to whomever will listen, about whatever seems to be wrong with the world. But after listening to their only studio album (You, Me, and Einstein) for a couple of months, the common thread seems to be a prolonged dealing with breakups and heartbreaks.
To hear this guy sing, you would think that he’s never had a healthy relationship in his life. While it seemed a little odd to have song after song of danceable break-up music, I had to give the singer props for being honest about his (remarkably consistent) emotional state. Here’s a taste of his lyrical melancholy:
Home is where you make it
but I didn’t make it fast enough
You always talked about it
but I never thought you’d leave
Oh how dare you call it home
you made a mess of things
and now you’re on your way
like that’s the only solution
Pack up and go but
leave all your baggage behind~ From: Just The Tip ~
For a band that nobody has ever heard of, they do have a nice little music video (geez, I sound SO condescending) for the appropriately titled ballad for the dumped: “Gone”.
Kind of fun for a break-up song, right? It’s appropriateness for my own life didn’t quite hit me until after being dumped myself, but I did have some fun dancing to song with my kids over the last few weeks.
Speaking of fun, that’s my other top band right now. Seriously, their name is Fun. Their website is www.ournameisfun.com. You may have actually heard of this group, what with their recent immortalization on Glee and all. But if you haven’t, please familiarize yourself and give them a listen.
Fun. is coming out with a new album in February, but they’ve already released a few tracks through YouTube. This track particularly rings true to me right now (other than the whole preoccupation with death thing).
I’ll put one foot, in front of the other one.
I don’t need a new love,
just a better place to die.
Yeah, it sounds dark and all, but not defeated. That’s the part that I really connect with. Keep walking, keep moving. It’s not time for something new, but something new will be found someday. I need to hear that. I need to believe that. And so I do.
Finally, a new sound in my playlist is from a band named Grouplove. This was a radio song that just happened to hit me in just the right place at just the right time. I’ve been wrestling with my self-esteem and manhood as of late, and the opening of this track traveled straight through my eardrums into my core-being.
I am a man, man, man, man
Up, up in the air
And I run around, round, round, round
this down town and act like I don’t care.
So when you see me flying by the planet’s moon,
You don’t need to explain if everything’s changed
Just know I’m just like you.
Just a few bars later, I get treated to this lovely bit of poetry:
And suddenly a light appears inside my brain
And I think of my ways,
I think of my days
and know that I have changed.
When I explain my divorce to people, they sympathize with me, but only to a certain extent. Really, to say that I have changed is an understatement of significant magnitude. The person that I am today is widely different from the one whom my wife fell in love with over a decade ago. Can I really blame my wife for anything? I’m the one who went from Christian minister to secular humanist. It’s on me. I get it. But it still hurts to let go…
The video for this song may be the most haunting that I’ve experienced in years.
His death sentence was seemingly stayed, only to be a delay of the inevitable. Wishful thinking leads him to a frolic in the fields and a late night in a tent (grouplove, indeed). But death came nonetheless.
Can I draw any conclusions from this?
Nope. It’s a music video. It’s somebody else’s story. It’s somebody else’s truth. It doesn’t have to me mine.
And so it isn’t.
Bonus:
I have no reason for liking this other than the fact that I always wanted to be a drummer and his skills are of the mad variety.
Long live music.
