By some strange circumstance (do those still exist?), I was able to listen to two popular authors this week, at two different locations, at the same church. The church is Central Christian Church of the East Valley, and it meets in two separate locations, with my home being right in the middle of them. Now, both of these authors have been recommended to me recently. Young, for The Shack, and Eldredge, for Desire. I was encouraged by both of them, but for different reasons. Let me try to explain.
William P. Young
William P. Young goes by “Paul”. He looks like a “Bill” to me. He came in and sat down next to the pastor, Jeremy Jernigan, in a comfy padded chair, up on stage. Jeremy asked him a basic question about his childhood, and Paul was off for 20 minutes. He spoke of his childhood in New Guinea, where he was the child of missionaries, and the only “white” person that the tribe had ever accepted into their culture. They were canabalistic and highly sexual. He was sexually abused by men and women in the tribe from his earliest memories at 4 years old. This became normal for him, but he still knew that something felt “wrong” about it. His relationship with his parents was not healthy, but he was a successful teen and young adult, graduating summa cum laude at his college and beginning a job in a church. He married at 38 in a whirlwind of a brief courtship…. 11 days. He and his wife have six kids.
About 15 years ago, the most significant moment of his life occurred. His wife called him from his office and said: “I know”. He had been having an affair with her best friend for three months, and he knew that he either had to go meet his wife and confront the situation, or end his life right there and not deal with it. He chose to talk to her, and for 11 years, they battled. Kim, his wife, loved him and hated him at the same time. He shared his childhood abuse stories with her. He shared his struggle with perfectionism with her. He shared everything with her. She was devastated, but still invested in him, so she stayed. I don’t remember what happened after the 11 years, but he would consider his relationship with his wife as “healthy” now.
I was moved to tears by his story, as were many people in the crowd. Among the lines of his talk that were most vivid to me, was this: “Is there anything that God does that is not motivated by love?” Being located at a church, you might have guessed that there would be some mention of God in this talk. But, most of what Paul spoke of was regarding God’s love, and how religion tends to corrupt that. In his book, God meets his protagonist three times, each in a different form. God is portrayed as a large, black woman, an Asian woman, and a Jewish carpenter. Its seems that his point was that viewing God as some sort of father or grandfather figure is devastating to many people, due to the relationships they have with their fathers or grandfathers.
When Paul was through, he received a standing ovation. He then did something that I was not expecting, and won’t soon forget. He turned around and began clapping in the same direction that the audience was facing. It was as if he was applauding an unseen God that was behind where he was sitting. He then gracefully walked off the stage. No waving, no blowing kisses. It was cool. The book has ruffled a lot of feathers in the church community. It is now officially on my list of books to read.
John Eldredge
John Eldridge spoke at the Mesa campus on Wednesday. He had no introduction. He just began speaking into the “Garth Brooks” microphone attached to his cheek. If you haven’t read any of his books, John is considered THE author for Christan men, as a subculture. He encourages men to be brave and warrior like, an tonight’s talk would be no different. He has divided the male life into 6 stages. The boy, the cowboy, the warrior, the lover, the king, and finally… the sage. He said that this is the intent of God in every man’s life. Knowing what stage you are at, or what stage you should be at, according to Eldridge, will help you to find peace and purpose in this life.
There are some things about Eldrige’s philosophy that I appreciate. It is true that the majority of men in churches are encouraged to be meek and mild, and the idea of a warrior God seems to fit in well much of historical literature. Talking about men in their 20s, 30s, and 40s who seem to be stuck in a state of arrested development especially rung true for me. He spoke at length on the role of fathers and grandfathers in the development as a man. Much like Young, Eldredge did not have a healthy relationship with his father after a certain point. He pointed the audience towards God as a father, so that a man can grow and mature with the best possible role model. Now, how he can be sure he knows what God’s characteristics are, I don’t know. Most of his beliefs were formed from the bible, so maybe that is my answer.
Now, I was especially privileged to experience both of these speakers with my own father. Ten years ago, I got an email from my college roommate’s mother that my father had a heart attack and that my mother would try to call me as soon as possible. The email was 10 hours old when I received it and I still had received no call from my mother. The walk back to my dorm room was the longest of my life. I was sure that my father was dead. It took me several tries just to dial the touch tone phone, because my hands were shaking so bad. When I spoke to my mother, she explained that things had been very hectic, but that my dad was ok and recovering well in the hospital.
Ever since that day, I’ve taken time with my dad as more of a gift than ever before. He is a great father and he has inspired me to be a great father for my own children. I don’t have the horrible stories of abuse or abandonment that the authors did. That’s what I am happy with as I sit here with my dad in the other room, even now. I have a GREAT dad. I don’t need a crummy dad to rebel from and say “I will never grow up to be like him”. I just have my dad that I can continue to learn from and grow from in a positive way.
Thanks dad!
Continue Reading
On April 26, 2007, the Los Angeles Times printed a story about one man’s transition from male to female, and the road that led him to that decision. The twist, in this story, was that the essay was written by one of their own (a sportswriter). It was news that shocked many, but gave courage to countless more. With the talent of his writing still very much in tact, even as much of his world was crumbling around him, Mike Penner “came out” to his co-workers, peripheral friends, and his reading audience with a promise: To return to them as someone new, Christine Daniels.
” go running through my head:
“. I stumbled across a interview he was doing for ESPN about the book. Check it out:
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Am I innocent to purchase an iPhone made in China if I am ignorant that 
