Zac Parsons

Yesterday was a eventful day in the world of the television shows that are important to me.  First, it was announced that the final season of LOST will begin on February 2, 2010.  As you know, this is Groundhog’s Day.  The creator’s of this show are keenly aware of nearly detail of this show’s production.  They have developed and broadcast commercials for fictional companies (that are a part of the show’s canon) that actually air during the broadcast on ABC.  I imagine that the 2-2 date has more to do with the Bill Murray movie from 1993 than whether or not we will be having more or less winter weather.  Nonetheless, I am manically excited for this date to come.

On a much more somber note, Jon and Kate plus 8 aired it’s final episode.  Part of me is relieved that some sort of conclusion has been reached in this saga.  There will always be some sort of celebrity status attached to this family, but unless they begin a new show or other endeavor into the entertainment world, the “new” normal that is coming may look more like the “old” normal that the Gosselins enjoyed before the show.

The biggest difference that I noticed in this episode was the behavior and attitudes of the older twin girls, Maddie and Kara.  The show starts with a daddy day.  The kids are all together with Jon, at the house, and they decide to put together a lemonade stand to raise money for the local fire department.  Tensions between the girls are high, which happens with siblings a lot in normal situations where tools (markers in this case) need to be shared.

In a moment of frustration, Maddie says “I like stuff we do with Mommy.”  Of course this doesn’t sit well with Jon, and he immediately banishes her from the project, with a pledge to throw her poster in the trash after she asks him not to finish it for her.  Just for good measure, Jon halts Kara’s progress on her poster and sends her inside as well.  The girls are left in tears, while Jon is able to bask in the glory of not being the easy-going, push-over dad of the past umpteen similar incidents with his children.  It seems that he is trying to “be” Kate in the increasingly frequent situations where she is not present.  Sadly, the girls are at school for the mommy day outing in the second half of the episode and are not seen or heard from again.

Its the moment that every divorced parent fears and tries to be prepared for: when the kids start playing the parents against each other, realizing that they are no longer on the same team.  Kate later laments her situation as a single parent by stating that Jon is no longer her teammate.  Its was a tough scene to watch, and even tougher to have as the last taste in my mouth of Maddie and Kara.  I’m hopeful that things have progressed with their relationships together, but there is no longer the promise of a future episode to experience this progression as a viewer.

Unlike with LOST (I hope), the ending of Jon and Kate Plus 8 does not tie up all of the loose ends.  Most likely, this is still very much the beginning of their journey as a family, albeit a fractured one.  Jon’s admission of fault for most of the downfall of his marriage is refreshing, but probably stings of “too little, too late”.  Kate seemed disappointingly focused on how depressing losing the show was for the kids, and much less on how their relationship with their father has changed.  Maybe this is too negative of a way to look at it all.  With plenty of knots to untie, there will be plenty of growth to be had for both of these parents.  I’m probably just jealous that I can no longer experience some of this growth vicariously.

I can’t say I know what it is like to be the parent of multiples.  I met with a new friend this week who has four 2-year-old children.  He shared with me the negative looks and disparaging remarks that his family has received since the Jon and Kate backlash began earlier this past summer.  I had a separate conversation today with a different friend about a view his counselor shared with him about the “selfishness” of having children.  The counselor is not a parent himself.  Both of these friends shared the same sentiment:

“You just don’t know until you’ve walked in my shoes.”

It’s probably the drum that I will bang over and over again as I hear criticism and judgement with little compassion or understanding offered.  Discipline, punishment, castigation, judgement, and the like are only useful as tools on a path of change, growth, and redemption.  Jon and Kate have received a lot of it over the past year.  Will it help to propel them to such change, growth, and redemption?  Listening to Jon’s final session on the couch…. maybe so.

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I felt a number of different emotions when I first saw the video of Elizabeth Lambert from the University of New Mexico soccer match vs. BYU on November 5, 2009.  If you have not seen it yet and you want to dial up your own emotional response to it, here you go:

I had a few people tease me in high school for playing “girls” sports like soccer and volleyball.  While I haven’t seen a volleyball video quite like this before, perhaps the idea of soccer being a “soft” game, even for girls, may be closer to being exposed as quite false.  While mostly tongue in cheek, it is a startlingly violent video.

Like many people, I was shocked and disgusted by how intentional Lambert’s actions were.  Even though the video just shows highlights (lowlights?) from the match, and the tension of the game cannot be discerned from snippets of film out of context, it’s impossible to justify what she did as an acceptable part of the game.  She has been suspended indefinitely, and many believe that she will not be considered for reinstatement to the team until she undergoes serious psychiatric analysis and treatment.  In addition to her reputation as a soccer player, he may also lose her scholarship, and any hopes she had of playing professionally at another level.

Many people can relate to losing their cool and doing something regrettable in the heat of the moment.  Unfortunately, many of us forget what we ourselves are capable of when we see such egregious acts of violence while personally being in a calm state of mind.  Some people have called for Lambert to be expelled from school.  Even others have wanted the police to investigate the hair pulling incident as an assault.  She has even received an alarming number of date proposals from men who would like her to treat them as rough as she does her opponents on the pitch.

After two weeks of dealing with a cacophony of media pundits and Youtube commenters, Elizabeth finally granted an interview to the New York times today.  Her tone varies from one of genuine remorse to explanatory pleading. The accompanying picture doesn’t exactly fit the thuggish girl from the video above.  Although her video seems to show a pattern of dirty play, she has only received 2 yellow cards in her career at New Mexico, which has spanned over 2,500 minutes on the field.  Maybe she did just have a bit of temporary insanity.  Perhaps she should be given more benefit of the doubt.

In fact, the two weeks of time that have passed since this episode and today’s interview have given me a lot of time to think about my own screw ups and shortcomings.  If I were defined by my weakest moments or known around the world by my greatest failures, I’m not sure if I would still be allowed my own web domain www.zacparsons.com.  As it is, people know me by some mix of what I have shared with them, or what they have heard or seen themselves or second hand from others.  Although I make sincere attempts to be transparent, I’m sure that many of my behavioral warts would lose me some friends and comrades if every detail of my life was known.

If what we know about someone is bad, is it fair to label him/her as a bad person?  Do stories of shocking behavior expose someone’s true nature, or is it just a moment of weakness that happened to catch our attention?  Do we poo-poo away our own moral failures as circumstantial, heat of the moment, “you would understand if you were in my shoes” types of events?  Or even if we take responsibility for our actions, do we feel that we need to saddle ourselves with that burden on a daily or hourly basis to remind ourselves of how evil we really are?

Maybe the question I’m asking is: are we all really bad people who happen to do good things from time to time?  Or are we all good people, who happen to do bad things from time to time?  Or are some of us more inclined to be good and others of us to be bad?  I believe that your answer to those questions has a lot do to with how you deal with others on a daily basis.

If you know that you need slack cut to you in order to enjoy life and the relationships around you, take a good look at how much slack you are cutting for others.  Since our country doesn’t even trust Elizabeth Lambert to make the decision to imbibe alcohol (she’s only 20), maybe we should all help her to learn from this and work towards changing her nickname to something more fitting of a human being.

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Well, in light of the fact that this is a light news day, this will be a light Tuesday Newsday.  In fact, I just have one bit of news to share.  Kim and I just got married…. again.  I’ve got better things to do than write today, so I’ll be going now.  Cheers!

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If you’ve never heard of the film “Powder Blue“, sadly you are not alone.  Released on DVD earlier this year, the final failed to live up to the hopes of the studio that produced it.  The following is a teaser trailer made up of scenes from the cut originally submitted by the director, Timothy Linh Bui:

Then, after being recut to a more “audience friendly” length of 106 minutes, this trailer was made to promote the film for its release on DVD:

Which trailer elicited a stronger desire to see more and watch the film (assuming either did)?  Once might say that the second trailer gives more details about the film, while the first one leaves much to the imagination like a box of LEGOs with no directions.  If you were intrigued by certain images from the first trailer, like the man in the Santa suit looking off of the edge of a building, or the man wearing the tiger mask in the tunnel, you will be disappointed to learn that that those scenes were removed completely from the final cut of the film.

If the images of Jessica Biel dancing as a stripper garner your attention, then you will be pleased to discover that those scenes were kept in the movie, and are extensive.  In fact, in many circles, this film is known as “the movie where Jessica Biel finally takes her top off”.  Like “Havoc” and “The Gift“, the presence of the female form from a formerly wholesome teenage actress, threatens to overshadow the aim and theme of the movie containing it.  While that is an interesting topic on its own, it is better to discuss the movie’s intended theme (in this reviewer’s opinion), namely:  loneliness.

The setting of the film is Los Angeles, in present day, in the week preceding Christmas.  Although it is one of the largest cities in the world, feelings of alienation and disconnection are common.  If it is true that our past experiences and thoughts work to create present reality, the four main characters carry those heavy burdens in their eyes.  The least well known actor of the four, Eddie Redmayne, just looks lonely.  Being a mortician and a puppeteer, his character, Qwerty, spends much of his time with people who cannot respond to (or hurt) him.

The other characters are isolated by the results of past behavior and either blame themselves, God, or both.  No matter who is to blame, without peers, or a healthy social system to give perspective to their experiences, their loneliness is perpetuated.  For Forrest Whitaker’s and Ray Liotta’s characters, it’s haunting to watch them struggle against their past, and continually find their present unchanged.  Jessica Biel’s portrayal of Rose Johnny is uneven, but was perhaps deliberately so to display some schizophrenic tendencies as a coping mechanism.

Overall, the movie succeeds in portraying loneliness in a vast sea of people, with no visual portrayals of crowds or masses of humanity included.  In an effort not to spoil too much of the movie, let’s just stop with saying that relationships are as vital to healthy human behavior as any moral code or doctrine for living.

In summary, the dedication of the directors, producers, and actors of this film deserved a better final product than the one that ultimately made it onto DVD this summer.  Not every story in this medium fits into a 90-110 minute window to maximize theatre screen turnover.  Character development was lost in an effort to translate emotion and experience with a type of cinema editing shorthand, and the viewer suffers slightly because of it.  All in all, the movie is definitely worth renting, and if a director’s cut is released, worth a closer look again.

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If you missed last night’s Letterman show, where he publically apologized to his wife for the pain that his infidelity has caused her, you can catch a clip here:

This CNN.com article tells more about the details of the extortion attempt, and the 15 years in prison that the suspect, Robert “Joe” Halderman, is facing if convicted.  It also speaks of the crowd’s response to his apology, which is what I would like to discuss here.

The overall sentiment of the audience seemed to be one of compassion and forgiveness.  There was only one quote in the article.  But judging by the crowd’s reaction to his comments, it seemed to be indicative of most present:

You could tell he’d been though a difficult situation and that he was sorry that he hurt other people, but he was also able to keep it funny, throw humor into it, too.

Now it may be too early too early to start judging this, but it is currently fresh in a lot of our minds.  Since the story just broke last week, it is interesting how quickly the public has been willing and able to forgive Letterman his transgressions.  It flies in the face of the adage:  ”Time heals all wounds”.

In the last week, we have talked about Roman Polanski, Jon Gosselin, and now David Letterman.  Three different men, with three different circumstances with females, and three different public responses.

Other than from his own peers, most of the public opinion (and some Hollywood opinion apparently) on Polanski is that he is guilty and should not be shown any leniency because of his age, celebrity, or citizenship status.  While his behavior violated a trust between two people, it also violated our laws to protect children, and the public outrage may be louder due the clear process of investigation and possible punishment that he is avoiding.  Still, the fact that Polanski fled the country and the situation did not garner much support then, and it would not now either.

Jon Gosselin’s affairs have been blasted on the front of nearly every celebrity magazine and website that exists over the last 9 months.  Whether he thought his private indiscretions would stay private, or if he was banking on the goodwill he gained as a “Super-dad” of 8 kids to counterbalance his actions, it’s pretty clear that he was wrong.  Although he made a half-hearted apology, public opinion on Mr. Gosselin is still decidedly against him.  He still hasn’t fully owned up to his actions, and forgiveness has not been offered in lieu of that.

David Letterman took a direct path to reconciliation and forgiveness, by taking responsibility for his actions.  Even the attorney for Mr. Halderman noted how quickly Letterman addressed this, saying:

He wanted to get out ahead of the story and that’s exactly what he did.

Whether it was an attempt to get ahead of the story or a sincere mea culpa, the effect is hard to dispute:  people value the truth.  When you are honest about your behavior, even if it is offensive, you are more likely to be accepted and forgiven by your peers or your society.  Well, unless you are not believed or trusted.  That’s another story altogether.

Thoughts?

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Wow.  Each turn with this saga gets more and more odd.  If you’ve followed this story for a while, you’ll know that Jon’s comments to the media are mostly informal, off the cuff, on usually on his own terms when he is feeling generous with his time.  Other than the chair interviews on Jon and Kate plus 8, there have been very few formal video interviews with him, sharing his own thoughts on the matter.  Last night, Jon showed up on Larry King to reveal his news on pulling his children off of the new “Kate Plus 8″ show, among other things.  Here is a clip:

It’s hard to know what Jon really wants out of all of this.  Even though this is a video interview, and we are actually getting our information “from the horse’s mouth”, it still feels less than genuine.  You can almost see his lawyer’s hand reach into Jon’s back and making his lips move.  I smirked when his lawyer could not even remember the name of the show.  You’ve got to wonder how many times Larry King has watched the show himself.

It was surprising that his lawyer didn’t slap Mr. Jon Gosselin when he paused after being asked about how much money he made last year.  It’s responses like that (implying that he does not make enough money) that make you want to throw up.  But he does sprinkle in some other commentary that makes you want to pat him on the back.  Taking responsibility for his actions is a positive step.  There are many people who will never admit to a mistake.  I appreciate his honesty in sharing that.

I believe him when he says that he’s had an epiphany and that he cares for the welfare of his children.  It’s harder to believe that he told the TLC that he wanted to quit a long time ago for the sake of his children.  Especially with quotes like this from Kate from a corresponding CNN.com article saying she was:

“saddened and confused by Jon’s public media statements.”

and

“Jon has never expressed any concerns to me about our children being involved in the show and, in fact, is on the record as saying he believes the show benefits our children and was taping on Friday with the kids.”

It’s tough to see these two parents, who used to share a bed together, having to communicate to each other through media outlets and press releases.

A lot of anti-Jon sentiments have been put forth about about his recent playboy lifestyle and his womanizing ways, calling him a loser, a cheater, and a poser.  If his latest feelings are to be believed, (that he regrets his behavior, made mistakes, and wants to befriend Kate and work out his marriage), will people forgive him?

Many of the negative comments about Jon that I have heard have added a prescription for what he “should” be doing.  Namely, stop production of the show, stop all of the high profile womanizing, and work out a situation for his family that is in the best interest of his children.  If he indeed does this, will those same people support him?

Are comments of criticism meant to redeem Jon into some sort of redemptive behavior?  Or are they just mean-spirited and judgement, and a way to feel better about oneself for not experiencing the same moral failures?  Basically, will the public shackle Jon to his past?  Or will they support him into the future as he exemplifies approved behavior?  What do you think?

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Yup.  It’s official.  In an ironic twist of fate to those who have watched Jon drop the ball with his family, Jon Gosselin’s name has now been dropped from the show that he began with his wife and children just a few short years ago.  According to this CNN.com article, the new show will start on November 2, and will be called “Kate Plus 8″.  Oddly enough, TLC and Mr. Gosselin will maintain their “exclusive relationship”, for whatever that’s worth.

I’ve followed this story on my blog for a while, for two main reasons:

First, it was one of the top shows in my DVR stable, only subordinate to LOST.  We had never missed an episode, and I had a genuine rooting interest in their family, just from watching them grow from the comfort of our living room.

Second, I myself have gone through and continue to go through some of the same emotions and actions (including infidelity and divorce) that Jon is in the midst of at this time.  We both were deeply wrapped up in Christian communities where divorce is a sin of the highest order, and marriage is forever, is forever, is forever.  Happiness is at least secondary to commitment, if it is even in the top ten virtues of that sub-culture.  In this way, I felt much closer to Jon because of our kinship in seeking freedom from what seemed to be an oppressive situation: ie marriage.

Kate Gosselin is a strong woman.  This much is clear.  She has handled the situation with a good measure of class and composure, even admitting to some moments of despondence during this ordeal.  She has always been open about her flaws, even being willing to show her post-pregnancy belly on national TV before she was anything close to famous.

Jon, it seems has taken a different turn.  While the news of the demise of their marriage was fresh, many men (and women) wondered why it hadn’t happened sooner.  For all of her good qualities, Kate had a knack of putting Jon down, questioning his parenting skills, and generally treating him like a child.  And all of this on national television and (perhaps more painfully) in front of their children.  You could hardly contain Jon’s smile in the moments of freedom that he experienced on the show.  He seemed to begrudge his commitment to Kate and the effect it was having on his own personal freedom.

But, since their story has become a top headline around the gossip columns and the water coolers, he is much less “devoted dad” and much more “deluded douche-bag”.  Having several girlfriends at once is not admirable, in my opinion, and sleeping with anyone who will have you (including the babysitter and the nanny) sounds more like bondage than emancipation to me.

The truth is, anything can become a ball and chain in our lives, not just the lovely woman that you got on your knee and promised the world to.

I honestly hope for the best for Jon and Kate, and that does not necessarily mean reconciliation.  I was (and continue to be) fortunate enough to have a woman love so deeply and so truly, that my redemption and forgiveness is at hand, even now.  According to the state, we are divorced.  But to those who know and love us, they see what we have been working towards over the last few months.  A reacquisition of the love we had feared lost, and a bright future where dragons are slay-able and mountains are conquerable.

Thank God for my lovely partner and the power in all of us to change our mind.

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A few months back, SNL’s weekend update did a short joke about the Gosselin family drama, implying that their then current rumors of infidelity would inevitably lead to a break up and divorce.  Seth Meyers quipped:

“Responding to reports of infidelities, Kate Gosselin from the reality show Jon and Kate Plus 8, denied that she and her husband were splitting up. Though it is interesting that TLC has two shows on its fall schedule entitled “Jon Plus 4″ and ‘Kate Plus 4.’”

I didn’t believe it at the time, but his words seem strangely prophetic in light of what the family and show are facing now.  Jon and Kate plus 8 returned to the air after a monthlong hiatus this past Monday.

The first of the two back to back episodes was compiled of earlier footage before the two parents had officially separated.  Jon and Kate shared just a couple of scenes together, and did not spend any time on the iconic couch, which has always been their nest for reflection on the episode.  The theme of this episode was the renovation of the kitchen, which was planned for during happier times, and happened to be scheduled for the summer.  While the two had to decide on what features they would have in their brand new custom kitchen (presumably free for them because of the exposure the company would receive), they made it clear that their choices would be for the children, and that they were only thinking about them.

I’ve heard a lot of comments around the web about how the sort of answer “we’re doing what’s best for the kids” is ludicrous based on their decision to separate.  The idea is that the best thing for children is for their parents to be together, no matter what.  It’s a callous point of view in my opinion, and one that is probably not offered by those who are in that situation, or who have gone through a similar situation.  I would like to believe that most parents love their children deeply and honestly do believe that their actions will have a positive effect on their children, in the long run.

In my case, I did not want to set an example of an unhappy marriage with my children.  I figured that if their mother was happier without me, and that I was happier without her, then our kids would understand and be happy for the both of us.  What I did not consider, was that my definition for happiness was something that I came to on my own, whereas my definition for happiness at the beginning of our relationship was something that Kim and I came to together.

As much as I want to believe it, there are very few (if any) things that make everyone happy.  You and I may like ice cream and it may make us happy, but there are a lot of people in the world who do not, for many reasons.  A positive pregnancy test means ecstasy to the couple who has been struggling with infertility for years, but it may shatter the dreams of a teenage girl who is a leader at her church.  Even taken to the extreme of life after death, in its simplest dichotomy, life with God seems like a dreadful time, while others yearn for it now, even while living.

Understanding other people, whether in a relationship with one other person, or within a real community with many people, is not always a first nature behavior.  For many of us, it isn’t even second nature.  During the show, Jon asks Kate if she would like to add a refrigerator under the counter.  She glares at him and asks, snootily,

“No Jon.  Ugh.  What planet do you live on?”

After a couple of beats of awkward silence, the kitchen remodeling designers explain to her that they also believe that it is a good idea and she sheepishly acknowledges that maybe he does live on this planet.  I paused the show, and commented to Kim:

“That was jacked up.  Why does she have to make a comment like that?”

To which Kim replied:

“Because he banged another woman, that’s why!”

“Touche” was the best reply that I could come up with after that.  I love that girl!

For Kim, Jon’s actions seemed to justify Kate’s treatment of him.  I saw Jon’s comment and felt that it was more innocuous and helpful and not deserving of the rebuke that he received from his wife.  Kim and I watched the same scene, but came to two different conclusions on Kate’s behavior.  I don’t know if either of us is “right”, and I don’t want to debate it now.  I just want to point out how both on the show, and in our viewing, we were unable to see the same situation in the same light.

I will say that Kate’s strength has come shining through in all of this.  In the second episode, she struggles with setting up a tent for her children, even as her daughters comment to her that it is something that only a man can do.  I’m sure the thoughts going through her mind about what her husband might be doing at that moment (or whom) instead of setting up that tent, must have been gnawing at her.  She showed incredible grace and poise, eventually acknowledging that she was not an expert at it, but that she would try to do anything for her children that they needed.  I really admired her in that situation.  I hope that Jon did as well.

Half way through the first episode, Kate and the kids hit the beach to be free of the dangerous remodeling in their kitchen.  Jon stayed behind and his absence was felt.  One of the boys drew his name (Dad) in the sand.  The camera caught a wave breaking onto his sand canvas, wiping out what he had made so far.  Kate exclaimed:

“Oh no.  Now we have to start over.”

Maybe so, Kate.  But if Kim and I are an imperfect but earnestly humble example… maybe not.

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But what was the question?  Just hours before passing on November 21, 2008, Brendan Foster was interviewed by CNN for a food drive for the homeless that he helped  birth from his hospital bed, just two weeks before.  The reason for his hospital stay?  Leukemia.  The interview and the question that he was asked is in the video below.

It’s been over 7 months since Brendan died, but his words have echoed in my mind countless times since then.  I tend to be an adventurous person.  I love to try new things and experience the different flavors that life has to offer.  But, as we all know, there are only so many hours in a day, and only so much that can be experienced at the same time.  Sometimes to try something new, you have to give up on something old.

It sounds great right?  Something is not working like it was before, so you throw it away and get something better?  You only live once, so make sure that you live it right!  No one wants to look back at their life in regret of the actions that they did not take, or the experiences that they were too afraid to try.  It does take some courage to try something new, but that courage does not make you wise or righteous in having it.  In fact, you can be a fool if you do not first consider the circumstances around the “old” thing, at the time when it was “new”.  What was it that made the “old” thing so desirable in the first place?

I slowly raise my hand up to identify myself as one of those fools.  I was experiencing difficulty in my marriage.  In some ways, if I’m being honest, it felt like a terminal illness.  I was unhappy, and the only option I chose to see was the one that Brendan wished that I wouldn’t.  I gave up.  I threw both hands in the air and said:  ”I quit!”  I thought about my wife and my children and honestly believed that they would be happier to have a happier me.  That meant leaving.  I didn’t believe that my presence and perseverance were valuable enough to hold onto.  What I saw… was broken.  So I threw it away.

Then, I saw Brendan’s interview.  It shook me.  ”Why was it ok for me to give up?”  I kept asking myself.  But it was too late.  I had closed the door, sealed my fate, and turned the page.

But his words stayed with me.

The divorce continued.  She moved on.  I moved on.  Lawyers came in.  Assets and debts were divided.  Visitation schedules were drawn up.  Friends took sides.  Family members ached with their own sense of loss and betrayal.  And on May 6, 2009 it was finished.  The divorce was final.

And with that mutual goal of divorce being completed, something changed.  Something in our perception of reality.  We now faced a future together as co-parents of three wonderful children.  We were still “partners”.  In truth, our love for children is what brought us together in the first place.

We had poured out the bottle of our love for each other.  Every last drop was gone.  But as we looked closely at the bottle, we noticed the “CRV” near the bottom, in small print.  Cash Redemption Value.  Whoever created this bottle still wanted to use it.  Even after we had exhausted it’s contents.  We remembered when the bottle was first filled with our courtship and marriage.  We remembered praying together asking our Creator to create something beautiful with us.  We wondered if there was value still to be had from this bottle.  We wondered if we were worth redemption.

Now, as we attend counseling together, I see the value of holding on.  As we learn more about cognitive psychology together, we see our scotomas and acknowledge our limited perceptions.  We are creating a new vivid picture together and we are praying again for our Creator to fill the bottle.  It still has value.  WE still have value.

I share Brendan’s answer on what makes him sad, for myself.  Not every situation is like mine.  There is necessary growth in life and sometimes we must let go to grow.  But now that I have this chance again to create something beautiful, I’m holding on.

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It was November 15, 2006…

“My Love” by Justin Timberlake was the number one song in the country, the first Transformers movie was still being shot, and the vast majority  of us had never heard of Barack Obama.  It was also the last time the Spanish national team lost a game. They had been 32-0-3 since and won 15 games in a row. Pretty impressive streak.  It’s even more impressive when you consider the majority of the international games Spain plays are against European powerhouses like Italy, Germany, and England. That should help us all put in perspective how great the win the USA had today to snap Spain’s record-tying streak… and after the way they played in the first two games of the Confederation Cup (see Zac’s June 20th update) it is hard to believe they were even had a chance.

For those of you who didn’t catch Sundays action, the moon was in the seventh house, Jupiter was definitely aligned with Mars, and some how the USA snuck out of group play on a wing and a prayer. The 3-0 win over Egypt looked pretty good, but you weren’t sure if it was American hustle or if the Egyptians (insert Bengals humor here) were just gassed. Well los Estaduos Unidos answered that in a major way Wednesday.

Diving headers. Bicycle kicks. Flying knees. Muscling Spaniards off the ball. Hustle. The Americans didn’t jog back, they got back. Onyewu and DeMerit were monsters in the middle and ensured Timmy Howard got a clean sheet against a team which could be talked about as the greatest team ever. The forwards played smart, and when their opportunities arose they delivered. Landon Donovan lived up to John Harkes’ man crush and made good decisions,  which he usually doesn’t. They found some passion. But I’ve danced this dance before. I’ve predicted deep runs into World Cup, only to see them bounced with a lone point and a bad taste in their mouths. But they can play with the best in the world, they’ve proved it. Winning their first ever major tournament would be huge, and provide the confidence to make a run in next years World Cup.  I’m trying very hard not to get ahead of myself, but it is possible. Have they arrived? Guess we’ll find out on Sunday.

BTW, Sportscenter had a great line today.  Something about the Spanish streak running into “a red, white, and blue buzzsaw”. Epic.

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My ex-wife and I followed this show from it’s beginning about 3 years ago.  Up until the point when we separated, we had seen every episode.  There were so many things about Jon that I related with, and things about Kate that my wife could relate to.  They had 2 pregnancies, and ended up with 8 children.  TLC found their story fascinating, and did a 1 hour special on them as the sextuplets turned one.  They did a follow up episode as the kids turned two.  The response was so great, that TLC suggested a regular series.  Because they had so little time to create home movies with all of the diapers, clothes, food, and life going on around them, Jon and Kate agreed to invite the cameras into their lives, and document what it is like to raise twins and sextuplets.

Last night, on the premier of the new season, Jon and Kate publicly acknowledged that their relationship is mostly over, and that divorce seems to be inevitable.  This clip illustrates so clearly how far the two parents have grown apart and how much they are both hurting.  The scene from 3:30 to 4:28 especially broke my heart.

Jon probably cheated on his wife.  You can see it on his face and on hers.  It is a painful situation that I know only too well.  The exact details of his affair aren’t as important as the fact that is marriage is seriously unhealthy.  Message boards have filled up with people taking sides and talking about how Kate should drop him and move on, or how Jon was acting out in response to Kate’s controlling personality.  We can’t know.  It’s so complicated, they may not even really know why they do what they do.  I’m still baffled almost daily at my own behaviors based on what I say I believe in and who I want to be.

One of the main reasons that the show was so popular, was the near constant tension between Jon and Kate.  How they would fight and argue, only to come back together at the end of each episode with his arm around her on the couch, recapping everything and making up.  I can vividly remember an episode where they go on a ski trip in Utah, and Jon is absolutely thrilled with the freedom to ski by himself.  Away from the family, away from the kids… just himself and the slopes.  His life was not balanced.  He saw his opportunity for freedom, and he took it.  I fear that his life away from Kate won’t give him the balance he seeks either.

This clip from the show has old home movies of their engagement and better times.  It’s sweet to see them with such love and positive sentiment override for each other.

I have hope that they can find peace and happiness again, and that their children will share it with them.

For me, I am seeking to be the man that my wife once saw in me.  Not for her, but because it really is who I can be.  Who wants you to succeed more than your spouse?  She was right to have high hopes for me.  I will never be perfect, but with practice, I will become more Godly.  I think that everyone would be on board for that.

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